I stayed up all night thinking and decided I
would visit Aunt Carol the next day.
After school, I followed Aunt Carol as she
picked up Brittany. When they went to their
front door, I stopped them.
Aunt Carol was confused, but she told Brittany
to go in first before she came to talk to me.
“What’s up? Do you need something?”
I clutched my backpack straps, trying to explain
what Mom had said while she was drunk.
I looked at her and asked, “Aunt Carol, am I
really your daughter?”
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Aunt Carol’s reaction was not what I was
hoping for, her smile disappeared and turned cold and scary.
She asked, “You think I’m your real mom?”
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My worry grew, I thought it was a mistake to
ask the question because Aunt Carol might hate
me now too.
“I… I want you to be my mom.”
Aunt Carol smiled, lifting one side of her mouth, mocking me, without an ounce of gentleness.
“You think I didn’t know? What if you are? You’re not my kid, I don’t want you, and I won’t see you as my daughter.”
She turned around and left.
I stood there for a long time.
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No matter who my real mother was, Mom didn’t
love me, and Aunt Carol didn’t love me.
Nobody wanted me.
After that day, I kept my head down and
stopped thinking about who loved me.
I may never understand if I am anyone’s kid.
I realized that the only way I was going to make
a better life for myself was to study.
I studied day and night, in class and after class.
I did my chores and cooked meals.
Then I hid in the kitchen and studied more.
When it was time for the midterm, I got the best
score, and Brittany was in second place.
She cried because she was never in second
place before, and she had never been beat by
<
- me.
When Aunt Carol saw Brittany crying, she got
so worried and hugged her.
She said, “No matter where you rank, Mommy loves you.”
Mom came too, and when she saw Brittany crying, she kicked me.
“You failure, why did you make Brittany cry? Say sorry!”
Everyone saw as I was pushed to my knees.
This time, Aunt Carol didn’t look at me once, she just left with Brittany.
Mom kept kicking me, and yelled at me for
being a mute, for not apologizing.
What did I do wrong? Why should I apologize?
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My homeroom teacher stopped Mom, and she
finally let me go.
She still spat at me before she left, “You’re a
mute, maybe you should die!”
She went to look for Brittany.
My homeroom teacher felt bad for me, so she
took me back to her dorm and gave me a cup.
of hot cocoa.
“Ash… It’s too cold, get warmed up.”
Even the teacher couldn’t say my name.
She said, “We can change it, you have such
good grades, how about I call you Miracle?”
Chapter Two
I had a new name
—
Miracle. Mrs. Davison, my
homeroom teacher, announced it in class.
“From now on, every time someone gets the top
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grade, we’ll give them a special reward. Number
one is the best of the best, a real Miracle, we’ll
give them a nickname, we can call them
Miracle, right?”
“From now on, whoever becomes the first can
use this name! This time, let’s give it to Ashley!”
The classroom erupted in applause. My eyes
filled with tears.
The teacher had gone to so much trouble to
prepare this reward, just to make everyone
accept the name.
Even if it was just for the name “Miracle,” I was
going to work hard.
Mrs. Davison moved me from the corner seat in
the back to a spot right under the teacher’s
desk.
I even got a lab partner.
<
She was a chubby girl who always brought
snacks and sometimes shared them with me.
“Miracle, how are you so skinny? Do you ever
eat anything?”
