The abyss of jealousy
Chapter 1
My mom’s best friend’s daughter, Olivia, has
been copying me since we were little.
I took piano lessons, she took piano lessons. I
went to cram school, she went to cram
school. I ended up at an Ivy League college,
and she… well, she didn’t.
My husband was her husband’s boss. And at
my daughter’s first birthday party, she
stabbed me to death.
“Why do you get to have it all?” she
screamed. “We had the same chances!”
Then I woke up, back when we were still little
kids, before elementary school even started.
This time, she beat me to the piano lessons.
“།
She saw me and said, all smug, “I got the
jump on you this time! It’s my turn to have
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your life.”
But getting ahead of her wasn’t why I had
everything in the first place.
Honestly, the first time I saw Olivia again,
something in her eyes was off.
But I figured, what could she do with all these
people around?
So I didn’t think much of it.
I was wrong. She really was that crazy. She
just pulled out a knife, right there in front of
everyone, so fast no one could react. I didn’t
even realize she’d snuck up behind me until
the blade hit my neck.
“Mommy…
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I grabbed the knife as she pulled it back,
terrified she’d turn it on my baby girl, who’d
just learned to talk.
Everyone else jumped in then, pulling Olivia
away. Someone took my daughter. I let out a
breath, and everything went dark.
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The last thing I heard was my husband, Ethan,
screaming my name.
So when I realized I was reborn, I also realized
something else: I was really, truly dead. Killed
by Olivia, right when my career, my life, my
love, everything was perfect. Right after my
daughter said “Mama” for the first time.
So when Olivia bragged about stealing my
life, my first thought was… to kill her.
“I signed up for piano lessons,” she gloated.
“This time, I was first. I met Ms. Evans first.
See if that old lady favors you now!”
Ms. Evans had been my first piano teacher.
She thought I was talented, so she praised
me a lot, gave me extra attention. Olivia
wasn’t as naturally gifted, so Ms. Evans
treated her like everyone else. She didn’t hold
back, but Olivia thought she did. Olivia
thought it was favoritism that made me
better, and she badmouthed Ms. Evans
behind her back constantly. Later, when Ms.
Evans had trouble with a difficult parent,
Olivia piled on.
“This time, I’ll win all those piano
competitions,” she went on. “I’ll be a better
pianist than you.”
Olivia leaned in close, her voice a triumphant whisper. “This time, I’m going to crush you.”
The second she finished speaking, I slapped
her.
My mom always told me to be nice, to let
things go. In my past life, no matter how
much Olivia provoked me, I’d ignored her.
This was the first time I’d ever hit her.
Olivia was stunned.
I wasn’t satisfied. I kept hitting her. Olivia was
totally shocked. It took her a second to start
fighting back, but by then, my mom and her “best friend,” Linda, had run over and pulled
us apart.
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“Sarah!” Linda shrieked. “Can’t you control
your kid? Look what she did to my Olivia!”
My mom looked embarrassed. She started to
apologize.
I took advantage of the chaos and burst into
tears, letting out all the grief from my past
life. I sobbed so hard Linda couldn’t get a
word in edgewise.
Between wails, I cried, “Mommy! Olivia said
she’s going to steal my stuff! She said she’s going to crush me! She called me names!”
Linda’s face turned a dozen different colors.
Olivia’s eyes went wide. She probably never
thought I’d actually tell.
The truth was, the bad blood between Olivia
and me went all the way back to our mothers.
My mom and Linda met in high school. Linda was smart, but her family couldn’t afford college. Ever since then, she’d resented my mom, an only child who didn’t have to give up
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her spot to a brother.
My mom, spoiled by her parents, was a
little… naive. Okay, maybe clueless. Even
though Linda was constantly showing her
jealousy, sometimes even hurting her, all it
took was a few sweet words for my mom to
forgive her. She’d even defend Linda.
Linda, despite her jealousy, enjoyed being
friends with my mom. For one, she could
—
meet college guys through her that’s how
she met her husband. And two, whenever she
was short on cash, she could always wheedle
some out of my mom. My grandparents, while
not rich, doted on their only daughter and
never let her want for anything.
That’s how they became “best friends.”
Even though Linda got a lot out of the
friendship, she still hated my mom.
After they got married, they both became
stav–at–home moms. My dad wasn’t as rich
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as Linda’s husband, a trust fund kid, but he
worked hard, and his business was taking off.
That’s how we ended up living in the same
neighborhood.
Linda turned her envy towards our kids,
constantly comparing Olivia and me.
In my past life, I’d put up with Olivia. I felt
sorry for her. I let a lot of things slide.
And that just made her worse. Until she finally
murdered me, right in front of my baby.
The more I thought about it, the angrier I got.
I hated that I couldn’t just kill Olivia right then
and there. But I realized something else, too.
Just killing her would be too easy, too quick.
It wouldn’t be enough. I wanted to watch her
climb, and then pull her down myself. That
would be real revenge.
My crying got louder.
My mom couldn’t calm me down. She just
picked me up and carried me home.
By the time we got there, I’d calmed down a
little. My sobs quieted.
My mom sighed. “You hit Olivia,” she said.
“Why are you the one crying?”
“Because she said she wished you were
dead!” Olivia had actually said those things,
but at the time I’d brushed it off as her being
upset. I’d told my mom I didn’t like Linda or
Olivia, but she hadn’t listened. She told me to
be the bigger person. So I’d just given Olivia
a warning.
My mom froze. “Olivia really said that?”
“Ask her! She said she and her mom both
want you dead! If she’s saying that, why can’t
I hit her?!”
My mom was silent.
I was mad at her, too. Even after I stopped
talking to Olivia and Linda in middle school, I
couldn’t get rid of them because my mom
was so “loyal” to their friendship. She even
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helped Olivia’s husband get a job at Ethan’s
company, even though she knew how much I
disliked Olivia by then. She knew Ethan
wouldn’t say no to his mother–in–law.
She thought they were friends for almost
forty years, but Linda had always seen her as
a rival. Linda wanted to see her fail, to see
her miserable, to crush her.
I was still angry. “I don’t know why you hang
out with her mom,” I muttered. “She said her
mom hates you the most!”
The living room was quiet until my dad got
home from work.
He came in, cheerful as ever, carrying takeout
and holding his arms out for a hug.
I burst into tears again. Dad panicked, picking
me up and asking what was wrong.
I told him about Olivia “making me mad” and
me hitting her. He was furious. He comforted
me and said to my mom, “Sarah, you know a
four–year–old doesn’t just say things like
that. Someone must be putting her up to it.”
My mom still wanted to salvage the
friendship. “Maybe Olivia heard it
somewhere,” she said weakly. “TV shows are
full of that kind of thing these days.”
There was a reason my mom kept falling for
Linda’s tricks.
I didn’t bother arguing with her. I’d done
enough of that in my past life.
Because my mom was so easygoing, we
almost never fought. The only thing we ever
fought about was Linda and Olivia. This life
would probably be the same.
But this time, I wanted this toxic relationship
to continue. How else could I get my revenge?
My dad, stuck between his wife and daughter,
didn’t know what to do.
I made it easy for him. “If Mom likes them,
she can play with them,” I said. “I hate them.
く
I’m not playing with them.”
