Tom split his pay and rations in half.
Times were hard, but we managed.
Then, three years ago, Tom got promoted to
Sergeant and could get family housing.
He talked it over with me, said Carol was a
widow, people in the country gossiped about
her, and she didn’t make friends easily, not
like me. He wanted to take Carol with him.
Once Carol and the boys got settled in, he’d
send for me and the kids.
agreed
But along with Carol, Tom’s paychecks.
disappeared.
He wrote me letters every month, telling me
how much he missed me and the kids, but he
never sent a damn dime.
I mentioned it in a letter once.
He acted like he didn’t see it, just kept going
on about how the base was cracking down,
and he’d just gotten the new promotion, there were eyes everywhere, and we weren’t
allowed to come visit.
In my past life, I figured he must be having a
hard time and didn’t want to cause him more
stress.
=
obt that
Tom had sweet–talked me, and I thought that
loving someone meant never burdening them.
Tom was in the army, doing important stuff
for the country, I shouldn’t waste his time
with my problems.
I raised the kids to put their father first.
When the Dust Bowl hit, I sold my blood
before I’d sell the ring he gave me.
Because I was so stubborn, my kids froze to
death and starved.
And the first thing Tom did when he got home
was ask for a divorce.
He said Carol had stuck by him, and the boys
needed a place to live so they could go to
<
scnooi.
After I signed the papers, Carol and the kids
came to pick him up.
Tom held Mikey and had his arm around
Carol.
The four of them, a perfect family.
That was when I realized that Tom was lying
when he said he hadn’t wronged me; he just
hadn’t cheated on me physically.
All his buddies, his friends, they thought of
Carol as Mrs. Smith.
Carol handled his money.
Carol managed his life.
く
Even his damn underwear, Carol washed it all.
Learning all that broke me, and I jumped in
the river.
I was about to say something, but Carol’s
sugary voice broke in, “You two lovebirds can
can it, let’s eat.”
It was plain old mess hall food.
White bread and a couple of stir–fries. My
kids‘ eyes went wide when they saw it.
They stuffed their faces.
I was just telling them to slow down when I
heard a snicker. Carol’s oldest girl, Jenny,
muttered in Russian, “Eating like pigs, so
く
disgusting!”
I looked up at her. She thought I couldn’t
understand, so she said it again, louder.
“Mama pig and two little piglets, filthy, stinky,
disgusting.”
I said, cold as ice, “Who are you calling a
pig?”
I may be a country girl, but I went to school.
We had a tutor who taught me some Russian.
Jenny hadn’t expected me to understand and
went white.
The others didn’t get it, but they knew she’d
said something bad.
L
Carol got mad. “Jenny, quit showing off with
that dumb Russian. Apologize to your aunt
and go eat in your room.”
Jenny mumbled an apology and stomped off
with her plate.
She was obviously bored with the food and
couldn’t care less.
Carol apologized to me, said Jenny was
learning Russian from a record and was
getting all mixed up.
My daughter spoke up. “Mom, what’s a
record?”
The table went silent.
く
Tom’s face clouded over.
After dinner, Carol took my boys to give them
a bath.
Tom hesitated, then said, “Sarah, when are
you going back?”
I glanced at him. “I’m not.”
“What?”
The wash basin Carol was holding hit the
floor with a crash.
She picked it up and hurried out.
Tom looked after her, worried, then turned to
- me. “Not going back? Sarah, don’t be
ridiculous. We had a deal…”
く
“Tom, there was a flood back home this year,
the crops are gone, and we are out of food.
Our door was used as firewood.” I came right
out with it. “I can’t feed these kids, are you
trying to starve us?”
Tom frowned. “Can’t feed them? I send you
plenty of ration cards every month, how is
that possible?”
That stopped me cold. “When did you ever
send me ration cards?”
“I send you half my rations and paycheck.”
Then, Tom realized what was up.
He stormed into the bathroom and dragged
Carol into the study.
L
A few minutes later, I heard Carol crying.
When Carol came out, her eyes were red.
Tom was all flustered. He tried to explain that
he’d given all his money and rations to Carol
to manage, and told her to send half to me.
But Carol forgot.
“Forgot?” That made me laugh. “I could
believe forgetting for one month, but she
hasn’t sent me a dime in three years! How
does she not forget to eat?”
That made Tom angry. “Sarah, don’t talk like.
that. Carol works hard to keep this house
running, she said household expenses were
higher than expected, and she’s not earning,
and the boys are growing up, and she didn’t
touch your money.”
I lost it. “Her kids are growing up, but mine
aren’t? I remember the government gave her
a big check when your brother died. If that
wasn’t enough, why didn’t she use that?”
Tom went ballistic. “Don’t be unreasonable!
That’s the money my brother earned with his
life, how can you even think about touching
it?”
His words cut me deep.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
Maybe he saw my face. Tom came over and
hugged me. “Sarah, I know you’re hurting.
Don’t worry, I’ll send you the money myself
<
from now on, no one else will handle it. Now
that you’re here, stay for a few days. I’ve
missed you and the kids so much.”
He said he missed me and the kids.
But that night, he went to Carol’s room to
comfort her before coming back to mine.
2
He couldn’t wait to rip my clothes off.
Before he could get halfway through, we
heard a scream.
We ran out and found Mikey on the floor,
screaming and covered in blood.
My son stood there, not knowing what to do.
Carol scooped Mikey up. “Mikey, what
Г
Mikey pointed at my son. “He hit me!”
Jenny saw what was going on and shoved my
son. “You little bastard, why did you hit my
brother?”
