she were at home. Steam filled the bathroom,
hiding the curves of her body. Over the years, Patricia had used her good looks to date a string of boyfriends.
And I had only ever had Ethan. She mocked
me more than once, saying I was rigid and inflexible, and that I wasted my beauty by not using it to my advantage.
Who would have thought that she, with her
many lovers, would try to take my cherished flower?
Where did she find the courage?
I thought for a long time.
It wasn’t until I remembered the names on the wedding reception poster that I realized-
Seven years ago, I was forced to change my name to “Patricia Shen.” I had been dating
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Ethan using the name “Patricia Shen.” Her
marriage to Ethan was legitimate and above
board.
And I, this “Patricia Shen,” was nothing more than a shadow living in the dark.
Tears flowed from my eyes.
It was ridiculous that even in death, I still didn’t know who I was.
3
I thought about my short and bleak life. My life from Natalie to Patricia Shen.
When I was one year old, my father died in a work accident. My mother took my sister, Nancy, and all the compensation money and left for another city, leaving me and my grandmother behind.
My mother took my sister because she
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thought the name Nancy meant “bright
future,” auspicious.
I was the unnecessary one. Growing up, I
never experienced parental love or sibling affection. While others basked in their
parents‘ love, I could only hug a single photo of my parents, seeking them in my dreams. But even worse than being called a “wild child” was enduring the leering eyes from men since I was fourteen years old.
And the hands of various men sneaking into
my room at night, touching my bed.
It was a cruel fate, to be so easily abused, yet
to have such striking beauty.
How ironic.
If it weren’t for my grandmother gritting her teeth to get me into a boarding school, my
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life would have been soiled beyond repair. But my tuition had already overwhelmed my grandmother; with the added cost of
boarding, her back never straightened again. I studied hard, hoping to give my grandmother a good life in her lifetime.
After the college entrance exams, I received an acceptance letter from a top university. The people who had been absent from my life for seventeen years appeared when I no
longer needed them.
Then I learned that my mother had remarried sixteen years ago to a wealthy businessman. My sister, Nancy, had already changed her name to “Patricia Shen.”
They showed great care for me and my grandmother, taking her for a full medical
