- Why Was I So Blind?
Liam
de a decision, I can’t hesitate now.
As I leave Maria’s room, I head to mine to pack a few things. Although I’ve agreed to the divorce terms, that doesn’t mean I ha..keep living with her, nor that I won’t
start the proceedings now.
Giving her the time she asks for is the least I can do. After all, I was the one who insisted on being together.
While I pack the essentials into a small suitcase, I think about everything that’s happened this year. A series of bad decisions, all made by me.
From the moment I agreed to marry Annie, everything snowballed, dragging everyone along.
Maybe if I had refused to be with her and handled things differently, things would have turned out differently but no. I accepted the commitment without protest, yet I didn’t stop insisting on my relationship with my now
wife.
I know Annie won’t give me another chance. What I did wasn’t simple. Anyone else in her place would have refused to let me see my baby, but she’s not like that. Damn it! She was never like that.
She was always sweet and loving. Even when we were younger, she loved to tease and joke with me, but she was never malicious, just mischievous. But my immature mind twisted her behavior, and when María told me about the things she did, I only had those references to her behavior, so I decided to believe the person living in my house.
I refused to see her as she truly was, all because of my pride and arrogance. And now I’m paying the consequences for my blindness.
I finish packing and leave the room. I’m not sure if I’ll go to a hotel or my mother’s house. But I don’t want to show up unannounced. Surely they’ll judge me for all the wrong things I’ve done, and I’m not in the mood for complaints. Yes, a hotel is a better option.
As I walk toward the living room, I find María in the hallway. She looks at me and then at my suitcase.
“Where are you going, Liam?” she asks, but I think she knows.
“I’m going to a hotel. You can stay here.” The look she gives me is different from what I’ve always seen. There’s a glint, but not of surprise. It seems like hatred.
“I don’t understand. You were supposed to give me the time we need to complete the year. It’s less than five months,” she observes, noting that I don’t let go of my things.
“I accepted your condition, but I didn’t say we’d live together. I don’t know what your idea is for staying married, but I agreed because I think I owe it to you.” She remains silent. She says nothing and walks to the living room. I follow her in silence. When she finally arrives, she begins to speak.
“You are the most despicable person in the world. Listening to you was the worst thing I could have done,” she turns to look at me, and the hatred I see on her face is something I never thought I’d see. “You’re not even giving us a chance. I thought that during this time I could convince you to go to therapy and seek help. Maybe there’s a solution, but no, you don’t want to try. Now you leave me here. You know I have no one. The parents who adopted me hate me. You once assured me they would accept us when they saw the great love
1/4
I
- Why Was | So Blind?
between us. And where did that so–called love go? Did it ever exist?” I know she’s right to reproach me for all
this, but I can’t give in.
“I know I’m a shitty person. Believe me, you’re right. But you could but you’ve never thought like someone your age. Between the t
fused too. I know you’re very young.
Du were always more mature. You
should have stopped me. The first time we were together, you knew well that when I drink, I get out of control.
I asked you to leave my room, but no, you insisted on being my woman. I don’t even remember if I hurt you, and you never complained. But since that day, I felt responsible for you and tried to fulfill my duty. But this is too much for me.”
Hahaha. You’re an i***t. You always have been. So impressionable, so easily manipulated. You’re so pathetic, her words are harsh, but I won’t complain. I know she’s speaking through the pain I’m causing her. “Now that you have a child with that little woman, you feel you owe her, right?”
I can’t refute what she says because there’s some truth to it. I don’t want my child to grow up in a divided family, but regardless, I’ve realized for some time that something was missing in my life, and when I heard Annie was at risk, I knew what I was missing was her, and I didn’t want to lose her.
“You’ll never change. Even though I don’t like Annie, you don’t deserve her. Not her, not me, not your child. You’ll always go through life with your mediocrity, expecting others to adapt to you to be happy.”
She lowly approaches my side. She looks at me intently.
“Want me to tell you something funny?” I stay silent, waiting for what she’s going to say. “You’ve always loved Annie.” I step back a little from her. I don’t know what she’s talking about.
“I don’t understand what you mean.” She moves further away from me, and a mocking smile appears on her
face.
“The night we were together. When I was about to turn eighteen. I remember it perfectly.” there’s a mocking expression on her face, but she stops talking. She goes to sit on a sofa, and while I remain standing, I wait for her to finish what she started.
“Well, that night, do you remember why you started drinking, even though you don’t like it? You only do it when stress overwhelms you,” I don’t understand the point of this conversation, but I’m curious about what she’s saying. I heard when your friend brought you home and mentioned that maybe what you saw was a mistake. You found your “butterfly kissing a colleague of yours, and you were furious. But you didn’t dare confront her and drank uncontrollably. When you got here, your friend said maybe what you saw was a mistake. But you refused to accept it. You said Annie was a bad woman and surely had more lovers. You were so hurt that when you were alone, you accepted my kisses. At some point, you reacted, but when I refused to leave, we continued. But yes, her name came up at some point. Do you understand what I’m saying?” I stay fixed in place. She’s telling me I’ve been confused for three years. My feelings were always for the girl who loved me the most in life.
“Why are you telling me all this?” I confront her, but she just laughs loudly
“Why? For the simple reason that this is our separation. I know we’ll never be together again, and I’m already a thing of the past for you. I want you to know from me that you’ve been making mistake after mistake with her. Did you ever question why you accepted everything they said about your wedding with her? Even though I wasn’t here, I’m sure you enjoyed it. That honeymoon spot. Who chose it?” she asks, and I think about it. It’s true. Although the wedding planner gave me several options, in the end, I unconsciously chose the one I knew Angle would like the most. I knew she’d be happy enjoying the sea. That’s why, when they gave me the option
2/4
- Why Was ! So Blind?
to leave the date open, I accepted. And although I never acknowledged it, at some point I imagined how it
would have been if she were the one by my side.
“Hahaha. Do you see it now? Do you think it didn’t hurt when you substitute. Even on our wedding day, you doubted if you were do rejecting me.”
by her name? I was just a
ght thing. In your mind, you’ve beer
Everything she says fits in my mind. And I have to admit it’s true. When they found me with Annie, I could have made it clear that we were nothing important, yet I accepted without protest that I would be responsib
aunt for what happened. When my mother and suggested we were at the best age to get married and the proposal was made, I could have rejected it, but I didn’t. And all the wedding details, although I seemed vidifferent to them, my opinion always focused on what Annie liked. I used to pick her up after her dress fittings, and I didn’t feel obligated.
Why was I so blind?
“Why are you telling me this? You could have kept quiet and let me continue in ignorance of my feelings.” I ask her, but she just mocks me.
“Why? Because I’m going to enjoy how she’ll reject you now that you try to win her back. Because I know her pride, and you won’t break it easily. Because despite everything, I’m glad for all she’s suffered, because from the moment we met, we hated each other. Yes. I was nine years old, but I hated her with every fiber of my being. And I’m sure it was mutual. We are natural enemies.”
I open my eyes wide in surprise at what she’s saying, Am I dreaming?
“Are you crazy? Everything you’re telling me is too twisted. Have you been planning my unhappiness for so many years?” I ask her, but she just laughs.
“No, dear husband. I didn’t plan your unhappiness, but hers.” I remain immobile, listening to her. Who is this woman? “Oh, and there’s more. Hmm, where do I start? Ah, yes. Do you remember how I used to tell you she pinched me when I was younger? Hahaha. You used to call her out harshly when I cried and told you what she did, but I begged you not to confront her. She always looked bad in your eyes. Hahaha. Hmm. And how you reacted when I told you she humiliated me for not having parents! What else?…Ah, yes. The day after our wedding, she called you. Oh, what a shame! I answered the call and showed her my wedding ring in a photo. I imagined she wanted to tell you she was pregnant because, yes, I knew.”
I drop the suitcase, unable to believe what I’m hearing.
“Do you remember when you came to stay after your mother kicked us out? Well, I found a little notebook where she noted that she hadn’t gotten her period that month. Maybe it wasn’t significant to you, but I’m a woman, and I understood the reference perfectly. The next day I came to look for any other evidence and got rid of all the things she had left here.”
I clench my fists. I’ve been living with a damn viper, and I let her ruin what could have blossomed between Annie and me. But it’s true, I allowed it.
“Forget what I promised you. I want the divorce immediately, and I’m going to get it.”
I walk out, while that lunatic’s laughter follows me down the hallway.
“Well done, Lian! You destroyed your own happiness,” I think as I head towards the elevator, completely defeated.
C
C
