Right up until the end. Trapped in the twisted metal of the car, the air thick with the smell of blood, he rasped, “If I could do it over, Ashley, please, don’t interfere. Just leave us alone.”
So, reborn, I granted his wish. I left the letter alone. Josh read it, saw that Sarah liked him
back but was scared of the distance. And he made his grand, irreversible gesture – skipping those science questions. He scored over a
<
hundred points lower than before. And finally,
he successfully “closed the gap” with Sarah.
They were together.
Back at the party, someone brought me up,
their voice laced with a kind of wistful wonder.
“I always thought Josh and Ashley would end up
together. Childhood sweethearts, both at the
top of their class…”
Josh quickly shut it down, probably worried
about Sarah getting the wrong idea. His tone was distant. “Just old friends, nothing more.”
I chuckled silently, repeating those words in my
head: Just old friends.
He wasn’t wrong. We were childhood friends.
Same class, from kindergarten through high
school graduation. Besides my parents, Josh
was the person I spent the most time with. I
saw him pull all–nighters to solve a single math
problem; he saw me battling a 104–degree
<
fever just to take a test. No one knew better
than us the hard work behind those effortlessly
high scores everyone admired.
The day we both got into high school, ranked
first and second in the city, Josh pointed to the
photos of previous valedictorians on the bulletin
board. “Three years, Ashley,” he said, “That’ll
be us up there. Think you’re up for it?”
The setting sun painted the sky in vibrant hues
of orange and red. Cicadas buzzed in the humid
air. I hugged my books and grinned. “Josh,” I
replied, “You’re on.”
Back then, all we saw in each other was the
excitement for the future, the hunger for our
dreams, and the unwavering determination to
achieve them.
But soon, Sarah entered the picture. In a high
school where most of us were buried in books
and perpetually sleep–deprived, Sarah was
く
བ་ཕ་
އ
effortlessly gorgeous. At the school’s cultural
festival, she stood on stage in a white dress,
radiant as the moon, her ethereal glow dimming
everything around her. That night, her name
was on everyone’s lips. She became everyone’s
dream girl. Including Josh’s.
I first noticed something was off when he came
back from delivering some test papers to
Sarah’s class. His ears were flushed, and he sat
at his desk, staring at a blank page for four straight study periods. On his scrap paper,
covered in calculations, three words stood out
– Sarah Miller. He’d scribbled them out
—
repeatedly, but the ink bled through.
Later, I heard what happened. Sarah had
accidentally bumped into him, briefly hugging
him as she messed around with her friends.
Josh, momentarily stunned, had just muttered,
“Be careful.” Sarah had just smiled. “Sorry, Mr.
Smarty–Pants. Oh, and… you’re cute!” The
class erupted in teasing laughter. Josh, normally
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so composed and reserved, was flustered.
Josh and I were similar
—
rational, level-
many
headed, calm as still water. Sarah was
emotional, vibrant, a fizzy tablet dropped into
that placid water. A beautiful, fizzy tablet. It was
no surprise he was drawn to her. Like in all the
rom–coms and novels, opposites attract. The
popular kid and the nerd, the jock and the
bookworm, the ice queen and the sunshine
girl…
I thought even if Josh was smitten, he’d still
know what truly mattered. But he proved me
wrong. For Sarah, the always–logical Josh
rebelled.
I wasn’t privy to the details of how their
relationship developed. I was too busy with my
own studies to pay much attention to their
increasingly frequent interactions. The most I
talked to Josh about was homework, test
answers, or how prepared we were for the next
<
exam.
By the time I realized how close they’d become,
Sarah was already comfortably calling him
“nerd” and “brainiac,” and Josh’s reactions
showed he was used to it. I started noticing
he’d disappear for half an hour every lunchtime
–
to help Sarah with her homework. Every
Saturday morning, he’d suddenly have “plans”
—
– attending little get–togethers Sarah
organized.
I knew he was falling for her.
But that didn’t stop me from focusing on my
own goals. I kept my head down and studied.
Until the National Physics Competition in our
junior year. The school held rigorous tryouts to
select one student to represent us. Josh didn’t
show up for the final round. Sarah had fainted and been rushed to the hospital. After taking her there, he stayed with her at her request,
missing the entire afternoon.
<
I don’t know how to describe how I felt. I
remember running to the hospital, finding him in
the hallway, his expression blank. All my
complex emotions poured out in a single,
confused question: “Josh?”
He leaned against the wall, his voice flat. “I’ve
played by the rules my whole life. I deserve to
rebel once, don’t I?”
He’d given up months of preparation, forgotten
all those nights he’d spent studying while sick.
Looking at him, this smart, gentle boy, I felt a
pang of something like… grief. I didn’t say
anything.
But I knew. This wasn’t a good sign. So, when
–
his second big decision – Sarah’s confession
loomed, I made the choice for him. I took the
letter.
