I’d already accepted that Josh would probably
confess to Sarah after graduation, and they’d
<
get together. I was prepared to be happy for
them. But I hadn’t expected to overhear Sarah
talking about the letter.
I’d gone back to the classroom to grab my
notebook during a meeting for the top 100
students. The room was empty. Sarah was
standing by Josh’s desk, talking to a friend. It
boiled down to this: She’d started pursuing
—
Josh on a dare to snag the valedictorian. But
then she’d actually fallen for him. She was
afraid their different academic paths would
separate them, so despite knowing he liked her,
she kept pretending they were just friends. The
letter was her way of hinting she wanted to go
to the same college as him, a signal that she
wanted to be with him.
I’d always been certain Josh wouldn’t throw
away his future for anything or anyone. But in
that moment, I wasn’t so sure. To prevent that
one–percent chance, after they left, I took the
letter.
<
I questioned myself countless times, wondering
if I’d done the right thing. Once, I tried to talk to him about it. “Josh,” I said, “Even if you had
seen the letter, what would you have done? Would you really have…”
He cut me off with a laugh, utterly convinced. “Ashley,” he’d said, “I would have.”
I stared at him, silent for a moment, then let out
a small, sad laugh. I realized, for the first time, that I was wrong. Terribly wrong.
Back at the graduation party, as it wound down, Sarah took Josh’s arm and walked over to me. She raised her glass, smiling brightly. “Ashley,” she said, “You’ve been a part of Josh’s life for
eighteen years. Even if you’re ‘just friends,‘
you’re still special. So… you’ll wish us well,
right?”
I looked at Josh beside her, a handsome young
man in a black T–shirt, his eyes bright. I smiled
<
politely, correcting her. “I haven’t been ‘a part
of Josh’s life‘ for eighteen years. We just
happened to walk the same path for eighteen years. From now on, our paths diverge.”
“Plenty of people have already wished you happiness tonight. You don’t need one more from me. I wish you…” I paused. “Bright
futures.”
I meant it. We all came from ordinary families. We’d slaved away to get this far. Who wasn’t
striving for a bright future?
In my previous life, Josh went to a top
university, became the star pupil of a renowned
physics professor, met influential mentors, and
made countless like–minded friends. With
access to the best resources, he’d thrived in his
beloved field of physics. His name appeared in
academic journals, he presented at
conferences. His future was brilliant. His only
regret was Sarah, the one that got away. At the
く
occasional class reunion, I’d hear snippets
–
about her who she was dating, who she’d
broken up with, which millionaire was showering
her with gifts.
The last I heard, she was getting married. That
night, Josh got blackout drunk. He came
banging on my door. My parents were out. He
stumbled in, his voice thick with bitterness.
“Ashley,” he slurred, “You must be so happy
now, huh? She’s getting married. Are you
satisfied?”
I stood by the sofa, letting him vent. When he
was done, I poured him a glass of water. “Drink
some water.”
He didn’t take it. I was tired, after all these
years. I watched as his anger subsided and he
drifted off to sleep. I draped a blanket over him.
Back in my room, I got a text from Chloe,
relaying some gossip she’d gleaned through her
く
extensive network: “Apparently, Sarah’s
marrying some new–money guy. He fell for her at a birthday party. She had a boyfriend at the
time, but the guy started throwing money at
her. Enough money to make her dump the boyfriend.”
I stared at the message, suddenly wondering what would have happened if Josh had given up everything for Sarah.
I never thought I’d get to see the other path play out. But then I was given a do–over. Josh finally got what he wanted. Watching them walk back into the crowd, their friends cheering them on as they kissed, I finished my juice and left.
Josh always imagined that even if they’d gone to the same college, he’d still have achieved the same level of success. No one could know for sure. But… Josh, I’ll be watching.
My second chance was the same, except for
<
Josh’s choices. I got into the same university as
before, accepted into the math program. I
didn’t see Josh all summer. He was on a
graduation trip with Sarah. I got a tutoring job, teaching middle schoolers. Sometimes, I’d run
into Josh’s parents. Their smiles were strained
when they greeted me, and I noticed the
streaks of gray in their hair.
They’d never know why their gifted son, who had never ranked lower than third in his class,
had suddenly bombed his exams. They worried about him, tried to cheer him up, encouraged him to go on a trip to clear his head. I didn’t
know whether it would be better for them to
know the truth or not. But seeing them, I felt a pang of guilt. After my own parents, they were the people who’d been in my life the longest, who’d watched me grow up. For a long time, while my parents were working, I’d eat lunch at Josh’s house. His mom always made my
favorite sweet and sour pork ribs. She knew
exactly what I liked. She’d tell Josh to look after
<
me at school, make sure no one bullied me.
Josh, holding a slice of watermelon, would say
with all the seriousness of a little adult, “Don’t
worry, I won’t let anyone bully her.”
I was a quiet girl, good grades, got along with
everyone. It was Josh, with his introspective
nature so different from the other rowdy boys,
who was often left out. But he didn’t care. He
had me.
I’d thought we’d always walk the same path. I
never thought he’d turn away.
I saw Josh again at the train station, the day I
left for college. In the previous life, we’d been in
the same city. Now, I was heading north, he and
Sarah south. The waiting room was crowded.
They sat together, scrolling through some
relationship advice video on their phones. He
occasionally nodded in agreement with Sarah’s
comments.
く
He’d gotten a tan from their travels. His
features seemed sharper, more defined. He had
a small tattoo on his arm
—
Sarah’s initials
and he was wearing a matching shirt with her.
This Josh was becoming a stranger to the one in my memories.
He caught my eye. Across the rows of seats, I met his gaze, offering a small smile as a greeting. He froze for a second, subconsciously shifting his tattooed arm behind his back. Sarah said something to him, and he quickly looked away, his lips forming the words, “Nothing.”
My train was called. As I lined up and walked through the gate, I felt his gaze on my back. I knew it was him, but I didn’t turn around. On the train, I found my seat and checked my phone. There was a message from Josh. Our last conversation had been months ago. For a moment, I felt a strange sense of dislocation. This would probably become the new normal, until one ordinary day, our last words to each
<
other were spoken.
I opened his message. It was short: “Ashley,
bright futures to you, too.”
My future would be bright. I was stepping onto
a new platform, entering a wider world. I’d be
surrounded by brilliant minds from all over the
country, a whole new circle of talented, driven
people. Here, hard work and talent were
abundant. Humility and skill went hand in hand.
Away from the confines of high school, I’d
realize Sarah wasn’t some otherworldly beauty. She was just one bright star amongst many, obscured by the self–doubt and insecurities of
adolescence. Now, shedding those ill–fitting cloaks, we were all stepping into our own, each
a shining pearl.
I threw myself into my studies, collaborating with professors and classmates, competing in
academic challenges. I volunteered as a
teacher, took up painting, and even created
<
portraits of every stray cat and dog on campus,
giving them each a name.
Whenever I went home for breaks, I’d somehow
manage to miss Josh. I spent holidays with my
extended family. Four years passed, and we
never crossed paths.
We met again at our four–year college reunion.
Four years can change a lot. The once awkward
teenagers were now mature young adults,
discussing their future plans, sharing their
accomplishments, comparing job offers.
Everyone was radiating that Ivy League glow,
armed with impressive resumes and a bright
future ahead.
