But I was clueless. I thought Ethan was different
from the boys back home. He was so good-
looking, with that perfect, sun–kissed skin. He
glowed when he smiled. No matter how he
treated me, I trailed after him like a lost puppy.
That blind adoration morphed into a full–blown
crush by the time high school rolled around.
<
(
Looking back, Ethan made his dislike for me
crystal clear. One spring, when the school
grounds were in bloom, his friends asked what
his favorite flower was. He smirked and said,
“Don’t have a favorite, just a least favorite.
Gardenias. Way too sweet and cloying.” Then
he’d glanced at me. My name is Olivia, but
everyone calls me Liv. Short for Gardenia. He
said it to hurt me.
But I was dense. I kept calling him “Ethan,
Ethan, Ethan!” until he wanted to scream.
Finally, during senior year, something happened.
I asked him where he was applying for college.
He’d said, “UCLA.” Excited, I applied there too.
When acceptance letters arrived, I learned the
truth: Ethan was going to UC Berkeley. He’d
lied just to get rid of me. How’s that for a
crushing blow?
04
Freshman year, if I hadn’t initiated contact,
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46
Ethan wouldn’t have spoken to me at all. He had his own life, his own friends. He excelled in
his classes, even got voted “Campus Cutie.” His photos were always filled with gorgeous girls.
I visited him once in Berkeley. His friends
asked, “Ethan, who’s the chick?” He said, “My
dad’s friend’s daughter.” That stung. Ten years,
and I wasn’t even considered a friend. I felt this
sudden, cold emptiness.
But I wasn’t ready to give up. I plotted my
revenge. That New Year’s Eve, I got Ethan
drunk and… well, let’s just say I made my move.
He’d mumbled, “Liv, do you even know what
you’re doing?”
I’d retorted, “Ethan, do you know how long I’ve
liked you?”
He went silent. As I undid his buttons, he
grabbed my wrist, his grip tight, I winced, tears.
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ナー
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46
CODE
welling up. He instantly let go. A flicker of guilt
crossed his face, but maybe I imagined it.
Because then, the jerk said, “Liv, you’re so ugly when you cry.”
“Doesn’t matter. You’ll be crying soon too.” My brave words were useless. I ended up crying
anyway.
