“Tell me if anything’s wrong.” He touched my
flushed cheek. When my breathing steadied, he
continued.
Several times, I thought I couldn’t breathe, but
he would stop, his body tense, his forehead
beaded with sweat. He seemed to be suffering
more than I was.
“Ashley,” he whispered, kissing my face, “Are
you okay?”
I nodded and shook my head, my eyes hazy, my
arms around his neck, a mixture of resistance
and surrender. His eyes darkened with desire.
For a fleeting moment, I thought he might
actually care for me.
“Ashley…” He bent his head again, his kisses
deepening. At the end, I almost blacked out, but
it wasn’t the painful, constricted feeling I was
used to. It was like floating on a cloud.
<
“Ashley, are you alright?” Ethan’s voice brought
me back.
I shook my head, wrapping my arms around his
waist. I felt a strange sense of connection to
him.
“Rest for a bit, then we’ll shower,” he said, his
hand resting on my chest. “Is your heart okay?”
“It’s fine.” I remembered him stopping several
times. “Ethan… Were you uncomfortable?”
He kissed me, his voice husky. “If you keep
asking, I will be.”
“Don’t…”
“Okay, I won’t.” But he didn’t let go. “I just want
to kiss you, Ashley.”
I let him, wondering if his tenderness was real
or just part of the act. He only ever called me
Ashley in these intimate moments. Surely, a
man as controlled and reserved as him wouldn’t
show affection otherwise.
- 20.
I didn’t get to test my theory. Ethan left early
the next morning. I knew he was busy, a man in his position had endless responsibilities. I
stayed home, trying to be as little trouble as possible.
It was peaceful. For the first time in my twenty- one years, I felt a sense of calm. I didn’t have
to worry about being sold off to the highest bidder. I didn’t have to deal with my family’s favoritism. I could just… be. I started playing
the piano again, something I hadn’t touched in
years. I bought online painting classes.
A week later, Ethan called and said he wanted
me to attend a gala that evening. He’d arranged
for a stylist and had a dress and jewelry
<
waiting.
“Will you be there?” I asked.
“I’ll meet you there after work.”
“What kind of gala is it? Do I have to go?”
“It’s a charity event for children with congenital heart defects. I thought you might want to go.”
I was touched. The last charity event, the one
Chloe and her friends had gotten me kicked out
of, had been for the same cause. Ethan
remembered. My heart condition had always
made me sensitive to these issues. Even when I
was engaged to Mark, I volunteered monthly,
visiting sick and disabled children at the local
children’s home. Mark had called it a “PR
stunt.” He didn’t understand that it was
personal for me.
“I’d love to go, Ethan. But if you’re there, our…
く
situation… will be revealed.” I wanted to ask if
it would be a problem for him, but I stopped
myself.
“Ashley, you’re the one who wanted to keep it
quiet, not me.”
“Ethan…” I clutched the phone, confused. “I
don’t understand why…” Why he agreed to my
terms. Why he never wanted to hide our
marriage. Why me?
“We’ll talk tonight.”
