I’d only been in Brittany’s room for half a day when my older brother, Mark, dragged me out
of there.
He was pissed, pulled me out of the room while
I was minding my own business reading a book, and yelled, “Don’t you have any manners?
That’s Brittany’s room! How can you just barge
in and take it over?”
I froze. Not just because I was meeting my
brother for the first time.
But because… I didn’t get it. Why was I taking
it over?
I yelled for Mom and Dad.
<
They came running, but Mark cut them off.
“Mom, Dad, what are you doing? This is
Brittany’s room. You’re gonna hurt her feelings, treating her like this!”
“Well…” Mom and Dad looked all awkward and
didn’t know what to say.
I saw the flash of anger in Mom’s eyes.
She was looking at me.
That look… I knew that look. My deadbeat
foster dad used to look at me like that.
Mom was mad at me!
I was the interloper, not Brittany.
4
The cuckoo sat carefully on the wire, and it
survived for a very long time.
Then it jumped.
It was so stupid.
I couldn’t be stupid this time.
This time, I wouldn’t fight, I wouldn’t cry, and
for damn sure, I wouldn’t ever love them again.
I gave a little, hollow smile and pointed at the
smallest, dingiest room in the back.
“I’ll take that one.”
Mom and Dad looked surprised. Then they
plastered on those fake, concerned faces.
“Honey, that’s the storage room! What do you want that for? Pick something else.”
“I’m used to small rooms. They make me feel
safe.”
I made sure my voice sounded small and
<
REDO
Mom and Dad sighed a few times, then agreed.
Just like that, they let their long–lost daughter
move into the storage room.
Brittany showed up right on cue.
She ran upstairs and looked surprised to see
me heading for the storage room.
I just looked at her, stone–faced.
She thought I didn’t know she’d put that panda
in her room on purpose, to lure me in.
From day one, I was walking into her carefully laid traps.
She spent three years fighting me for their love
and won, hands down.
And I? I spent the last moments of my life to
figure one thing out.
The best way to get love? Was to love myself,
5
I went into the storage room and shut the door
Brittany showed up with the panda. “Here,
Sarah, I thought you might want this.”
“I don’t like dolls, thanks.” I called through the
door
Then I took out the books I’d brought from
home.
From the second I knew I was back, I had a
plan.
I was going to love myself.
And for me, right now, that meant studying
hard, getting my act together, and being
independent.
く
“Are you sure you don’t like me? I mean, I’m the
one who took your place…” Brittany said
outside my door.
She wasn’t talking to me. She was talking to
Mom and Dad.
They were still in the hallway.
Sure enough, Mom hurried to comfort her.
“She’s probably just tired, honey. Don’t worry
about it.”
Dad added, “Brittany, don’t even think like that.
This is your home too.”
Actually, there was someone who was an
interloper.
It was me.
6
48
I fell asleep, and when I woke up, the house was
dead quiet.
The housekeeper said that Brittany was upset
so Mom and Dad had taken her shopping.
I just said, “Okay, great.”
I started going through the envelopes filled with cash that Mom, Dad, and relatives gave me
when they picked me up. There was about ten thousand dollars.
I was going to put it in the bank.
Because the future wasn’t going to be easy,
and that money was my biggest asset.
The village elder had helped me get a bank card
when I was still in foster care, so I took that
card and went to the bank.
I’d spent three years of hell in that town. I
<
already knew the area like the back of my hand,
so I wouldn’t get lost.
At the bank, I ran into a handsome man in a
suit. The bank manager was standing next to
him, nodding and scraping as he sent him off.
I stopped dead in my tracks.
It was my brother, Mark.
This was the first time we’d met in this life.
But he knew who I was. He’d definitely seen the
pictures and videos.
He saw me, too. He looked me up and down,
then said coldly, “Sarah?”
“Yup,” I said.