Chapter 99
Alyssa
1 plaster a small smile on my face, trying to restore some semblance of peace. This place is too beautiful for all this negative energy, and I doubt Mom and all the others resting here appreciate it.
“You didn’t miss anything” I say to Niko, though the look on his face as he studies King and Gray, makes it clear he knows exactly what happened. It’s not like Gray hasn’t been acting like a loose cannon since he got off his meds.
I pick up Mom’s bouquet from the ground, brushing a petal with my thumb before grabbing Gray’s hand. “C’mon, Grayson. The boys can give us a little privacy while you show me where Mom is.”
King growls low in his throat, his eyes burning into Gray, but I meet his gaze with a pointed look. “I’ll be okay, baby.” I promise him, softening my tone. “Maybe you guys can show Zuri some of the pretty flowers”
Gray pulls his hand from mine with an exaggerated huff. “Why are we holding hands? What are we, in Kindergarten?” he grumbles before walking
off.
It should hurt my feelings, but I know my brother. He’s the ruthless president of the Crimson Reapers, and God forbid anyone see him holding his little sister’s hand
I throw King a reassuring smile, hoping it’s enough to keep him from losing his shit again. Then, I follow my brother across the clearing
Gray stops near a patch of grass beneath a large tree. The sight of Mom’s pink tombstone steals the breath from my lungs. Her smiling face beams from the engraved photo, a bittersweet reminder of the beautiful person she was inside and out
1 kneel to set the bouquet down, blinking back the tears burning behind my eyes. “Wow, this is beautiful,” I rasp, my throat right.
I can’t believe Gray handled her funeral and burial arrangements all by himself. But it seems he did an amazing job. I’m sure Mom would be proud
of him.
He stands silent beside me, chewing on a rope of licorice. His body is tense like he’s fighting an ongoing battle in his head that he’ll never let anyone
in on.
He’s not okay. He hasn’t been for a while, and being off his meds has only made it worse. For both him, and everyone else around him, considering I just had to stop King from harming him.
I glance hack across the clearing, my gaze finding King, Mason, and Niko. Mason leans casually against a tree while Niko sits in the grass, showing Zuri a purple flower. But King his eyes are locked on us like a hawk, unwilling to let me out of his sight.
“I feel like shit every day for letting you marry that sorry motherfucker,” Gray mu
mutters suddenly, his voice low and raw. T’ve been raising you since you were thirteen, and when Isaac asked to marry you, I saw it as a way to lighten the load. I thought…I thought maybe I could finally focus on rebuilding the club. And because of me, you missed the last years of Mom’s life. All that time, I thought you just tossed us aside, but it was really who did that. I’m so fucking sorry. Alyssa. I failed you?
I swallow hard, staring at Mom’s grave. “I forgave you a long time ago, Gray,” I whisper. “It’s not like you knew. You wouldn’t have just left me with him if you did.”
He doesn’t reply right away. When he finally speaks, his voice is softer, ““Thanks, little sis”
I draw in a shaky breath, daring to voice a thought that’s been weighing on my mind since I made the decision to come here. “Can 1.. be buried here 100? Next to Mom?”
Gray’s head jerks towards me, his eyes blazing with emotion. “What the hell kind of question is that?”
I smile faintly. Just a feeling”
A constant feeling that’s been gnawing, getting harder and harder to ignore as I feel my time running out.
“Alyssa.” His voice is sharp, cutting through the air like a whip. “Why would you even say something like that? Aren’t you pregnant right now! Is that why King said you wouldn’t talk about it! You want to die? Do I really need to have you admitted into a fucking psych ward?”
His questions cause a laugh to bubble out of me that quickly morphs into a sob. That’s the problem, Gray. I don’t want to die. I have so much to Live for. But when I signed that marriage license with Isaac, I might as well have signed a death wamant.”
I can feel Gray’s barely restrained fury, but he doesn’t interrupt.
“There’s a reason no one has found him yet,” I continue. “And when he finally comes for me, they’re going to lose me.” My voice trembles, and I
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Chapter 99
glance at my three men in the distance playing with my daughter. “All of them”
Gray’s lips press into a hard line. “He serious right now. You have an entire MC on your side, along with a man that was just willing to lose his fucking life over you. Do you really think we’re going to fail at protecting you!”
“it’s not that you guys are going to fail,” I reply, my heart breaking more and more by the second. “It’s just you can’t outrun the inevitable. Isaac will catch up eventually. That’s why I can’t be happy about this baby, I don’t even want King to be happy about this baby, because it will all be for nothing. Isaac will kill us both”
I’m just glad my boys have each other. They won’t have to grieve alone.
I don’t realize I’m crying until Gray’s arms are around me, holding me so tightly it feels like he’s trying to keep me from completely falling apart.
“Stop it, okay?” he growls, his voice thick with emotion. “We’re going to catch that fucker. He’ll never lay another finger on you.”
I wish he could keep that promise, but the weight crushing my chest says otherwise.
None of them ca
Minutes past before I pull away, my tears finally drying up. Gray’s eyes glisten as he blinks back tears of his own. For the first time. I notice how tired, overwhelmed and defeated he looks
Maybe he needed this hug as much as I did.
1 embrace him again, tighter this time, pressing my cheek against his chest. The tension seems to ease in his shoulders as he rubs my back, just like he did when we were kids.
“Tell your wife to chill the fuck out, I murmur. “This baby thing–she’s pushing you too hard.”
A heavy sigh escapes him. “It’s fine. I just want to make her happy.”
“But at what cost?”
I know I should stay out of it, but maybe I need to have more words with her, even if it ends with me breaking one of the biggest club rules by punching her in the face this time,
Gray shoves another piece of licorice into his mouth. “It’s not like 1 don’t want a baby too. It’s just not working out so far
“There’s always adoption. Surrogacy. You have options that don’t involve stressing yourself out to death, Gray
He hums softly in response, hopefully considering my words
I lift my head, meeting his gaze. “Can you promise me something. Just between us
A flicker of unease crosses his features. “What is it?”
A lump forms in my throat, but I force the words out around it. “When Isaac finds me, if he takes me…promise me you’ll keep them from coming after him. Zuri loves them, all three of them. I don’t want her to lose all of us.”
I can’t imagine Zuri growing up
g up without me. But even worse, I can’t imagine her not having any of us.
Gray’s jaw ticks, his eyes hardening. For a moment, I think he’s going to refuse. But then his shoulders sag, and slowly, he nods reluctantly. “I promise.
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