“Oh? Are you going to lecture me too?” Jake
sneered. “It’s amazing how concerned you all
are with my family business. Emily, should I
congratulate you on your manipulative skills?”
He’d said the same thing to me when I was
sixteen, after someone put a love letter in my locker. It was my birthday. He’d looked at me, a strange smile on his face. “Wow, pretty cheesy stuff from the class president.” But later, after everyone had left, he’d barged into my room,
pinned me against the door, and kissed me.
After a brief, teasing kiss, he nuzzled my neck.
“Emily, you’re not allowed to like anyone else.
You’re only allowed to like me.” Back then, he’d
sounded like a lost puppy, his voice full of
vulnerability.
I looked down, unable to meet his eyes now.
The contrast was too jarring. The pain in my
chest was a sharp, stinging ache. I knew it was
time to end things.
“Jake,” I said, “since everyone’s here, let’s clear
this up once and for all.”
He stubbed out his cigarette. “Go ahead.”
<
Even though my eyes were burning, I forced
myself to look at him. “Like you said, there’s nothing between us. From now on, we go our separate ways.”
The veins in Jake’s hand, gripping his glass, bulged. “Emily, are you trying to draw a line between us?”
I dug my nails into my palms. “You have a girlfriend. Shouldn’t we maintain some distance?”
84
I remembered when I was seventeen, going to bring him his jacket after basketball practice. I’d seen the head cheerleader cornering him in the locker room. “Jake, I’ve liked you since middle
school. Please, go out with me.”
I’d retreated, hiding around the corner. I heard Jake’s cold reply, “What do I care if you like
me? Move.”
<
She’d grabbed his arm, tears welling up. “Don’t
be so mean to me, don’t ignore me. You’ll break
my heart.”
Jake hadn’t shown an ounce of sympathy. He
pulled his arm away, looking down at her. “I
have someone I like. Isn’t it normal to keep your
distance from other people?”
The cheerleader froze, tears streaming down
her face. She looked heartbroken. “Just go,”
Jake said. “If the girl I like sees this, she’ll get
jealous, and I won’t be able to make it up to
her.”
The cheerleader wiped her tears and ran off. I
watched her go, thinking Jake could be so
cruel. He’d then snuck up behind me and
wrapped his arms around me. “Seen enough?
Aren’t you going to praise me?”
“You’re brutal,” I’d said.
<
3:38
He grinned, all cocky charm. “Emily, it’s
because I only love you. So, you can only love
me, got it?” He’d kissed me then, the minty
freshness of his teenage breath surrounding
- me. It made me realize what it felt like to be
someone’s absolute favorite.
Jake seemed to remember that moment too.
His lips pressed into a thin line, and he fell
silent.
84)
I stood up and walked over to him, taking off
the ring he’d given me. He’d gotten it from his
mother when I was 22, claiming it was a family
heirloom and insisting I wear it. Now that we
were over, I didn’t need it anymore.
“Jake, here’s your ring back.”
His brow furrowed. He looked up at me, his lips trembling slightly. “I don’t take back gifts.”
“It’s not appropriate anymore,” I said, placing
<
3:38
the ring on the table in front of him.
He abruptly stood up, neither taking the ring
nor looking at me. “My girlfriend’s waiting outside.” He practically fled the room.
Silence descended. Ashley tried to comfort me. “Emily, you guys have so much history. He’s just
acting out.”
Acting out?
A month ago, in this same room, in this same
spot, I’d planned to propose to him. We were
playing a game, and he lost, having to tell a
truth. I’d asked him, “Have you ever thought
about getting married?”
In the dim light, Jake’s expression had been
unreadable. Then he said, “No. I don’t want to
get married. I have a phobia.”
I’d been stunned. He’d been visibly annoyed
3:38
<
that I’d brought it up in front of everyone, and
he’d left early. My planned proposal had
crumbled.
